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Sometimes you can pick the game

We are so invested in the systems around us that we often forget that there are other systems too. An example is job applications. The "system" is applying to hundreds of applications, getting an interview, and then hopefully landing a role (which you hopefully negotiated a salary for). All of which are on the company's terms.

Here's the thing, though. It's a job market, meaning it's always going to be like this if the company is the buyer. You can choose to play that game but you have options.

There also exists the labour market, where companies compete to get the most productive labour (people). If you can market and position yourself to show that you can provide more product/hr than the majority of people, the ball is in your court. Now folks will compete to get you on their team.

The problem is, this is an uncomfortable mindset shift. It comforting to ask to join a team than to be flashy enough that people start to ask you to join. That's because we don't exist in a vacuum. People are watching and we fear they're as mean as they get. Some ways to go about it:

Be respectful and kind. You'll eventually create an ecosystem of folks who support you putting yourself out there, shielding you from the "haters"
Recognize that they are not your target audience (ignore them). If they are, use the constructive criticism as feedback to hone your flashiness. Otherwise continue to ignore
Realize that most people are pretty kind. It's more embarrassing to be mean than kind.
Recognize that putting yourself out there and being out-going is a muscle. Your going to be sore at first because it's new but after a couple sessions, it's just what you do (who you are).
Do it scared.
It's all in the game